Opinion - Is it possible to forgive those who have hurt us?
Published on 7 February 2022
UK Government minister Michael Gove believes that the public owe all those involved in the Downing Street Partygate scandal an "element of Christian forgiveness".
Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release feelings of anger, hatred and resentment towards a person or group who has harmed us.
When wrongdoers express contrition for their actions it often makes it easier for people who have been wounded to let negative feelings go.
Rev Aftab Gohar, minister of Eddleston Parish Church linked with Peebles Old linked with Stobo and Drumelzier in the Scottish Borders, understands the challenge better than most and gives his take on whether forgiveness is always possible.
"Forgiveness is a crucial aspect in a Christian's life - in our creed we say 'we believe in the forgiveness of sins'.
"In the Lord's prayer, we ask for forgiveness of our debts and promise to forgive our debtors.
Freed
"In Matthew 18:21, Peter asks, 'Lord, how many times should I forgive? Seven'? Jesus answered, 'No, not seven times but seventy times seven'.
"Jesus said ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you' – a lesson that some people find impossible to follow.
"Yes, it is very hard to forgive those who hurt us but it isn't impossible.
"In 2013, my mother, nephew, two nieces, two uncles and other friends and relatives were among 122 people killed in a terrorist attack at their Christian church in Pakistan.
"It was hard for me to forgive those responsible but with the strength of God I did so and freed myself from the extra burden of hatred and revenge.
"On the cross Jesus prayed for those who were crucifying him – ‘Forgive them Father. They don't know what they are doing'.
"It is very hard to forgive those who have hurt us and keep on hurting us but as Children of God we must follow the pattern of our Lord.
"Corrie ten Boom, who helped Jewish people escape the Nazis during the Holocaust, said: ‘Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuff of hatred.
"It is a power that breaks chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness'.
Nothing is impossible
"Corrie ten Boom heard a man speak about how God had forgiven him and afterwards he put out his hand to her and said, 'Sister, God has forgiven me'.
"She recognised him as one of the guards in the concentration camp where her sister died.
"Corrie said: ‘I couldn't raise my hand to shake his but in that awful moment I realised how much God's mercy and grace had been extended to me.
"‘What I couldn't do by my own strength, I did by the strength of God'.
"If it is difficult for you to forgive those who have hurt you so badly, then ask God for his strength to do so.
"For God, nothing is impossible."
