Gender identity is a matter for the individual. If a young person or adult advises you of their gender identity (including, but not limited to, transgender, non-binary, gender-neutral) and their pronouns (including, but not limited to, he/him, she/her, they/them, he/they, xe/xir) and asks you to refer to them accordingly, it is appropriate do so.
You should be mindful of the fact that the person may not have shared this information with others, and you must respect their right to choose when and who they share this with. It is not always safe for an individual to share their gender identity with certain people in their lives and doing so can result in the individual being put at risk of harassment and/or abuse.
If any forms used by the church ask people to specify their gender, there should be a reason why knowing their gender is required. Any information collected must be obtained (and used) for a legitimate purpose. There may be no requirement for forms to ask for gender information or, if there is a legitimate reason for asking for gender-specific information, there should be an option for people to decline to provide that information.
The Church of Scotland adheres to and supports equality and diversity legislation. The Equality Act 2010 protects people from discrimination (both direct and indirect) and harassment in various fields on the ground of certain protected characteristics. The eight protected characteristics under the Act are: age, disability, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion and belief, sex and sexual orientation. To be protected under the act, a person must be transitioning, proposing to transition to live in the opposite gender or have undergone transition. They do not have to be undergoing a medical procedure to change their gender.
The Church of Scotland has produced a guidance document on Diverse Gender Identities and Pastoral Care featuring interviews with a number of Church members about their personal experiences.
The Scottish Government has produced guidance for supporting transgender young people in schools. There are also useful resources on the LGBT Youth Scotland website.
There is no law in Scotland, or in the UK, which states that only people registered male at birth can use men's toilets and changing rooms, or that only people registered female can use women's toilets and changing rooms.
The guidance supporting transgender young people in schools includes information about toilets and changing rooms.
It is important to ensure that all young people feel safe using all facilities. If there are particular reasons for concern, an organisation may want to do a risk assessment.